AT A LOSS....

There are many faces of death: shock, fear, sadness, completion, new beginnings, emptiness, peace and even relief. No matter the personal effects, it is always the living that suffers. We all react in very deep and private ways. To some it is a doorway to heaven or hell. To others it is simply a final result to life. There is no right or wrong answer, only a personal way to handle our own loss. It is a blessing to be able to say good-bye to our loved ones before they pass. When we are not given this gift, the passing of a loved one hits even harder. Death has been known to harden hearts as well as soften them. I look at death, as a way to move onto another existence, be what it may. It is my way of finding peace in something I fear. Many years after my loved ones have gone on I still hold them in my heart with great fondness and love, but wrapped in grief. I look to the future death of my living loved ones with great panic and fear. I always have and always will. I have learned many valuable lessons and gifts from death. Gifts given to me from the passing of others, as well as, the all too very personal closeness to death for myself. Mostly, we all need to treasure what and who we have in our own lives today. The single most prominent certainty to life is that we never know when it will end. It’s not the material things that count, it’s the love, kindness and memories we give each other. Memories can never be stolen from our hearts and minds. With this certainty, I thank everyone who has touched my own life, good or bad. It is they who have made me who I am today, thus allowing me to touch the lives of others, if even in ways I will never know or understand. It’s a way each of us “pays it forward” with out even trying. When death touches each of you, and it will, let it be what it will be. But, always hold the memories close to your heart, as it is those thoughts that will carry you to each new day.

PEACE & BLESSINGS

IT’S A SECRET

I have a secret! I’m not proud! It’s my cross to bare! I never thought it could happen to me but it has. My family doesn’t know. I’ve become very good at hiding my faults. I’m an addict! How bad could it really be? Everyone is doing it. There is no street value for my drug of choice, even if there was I could never see myself sinking that low. After all, it’s readily available. It started small, one here, one there. Never on a daily basis. I can stop any time. At least that’s what I tell myself. We all need a little escape once and a while. Right? Right! There is no 12-step program for my addiction. Even if there were I wouldn’t go. I’ve thought about asking for help but that would mean admitting I have a problem. I don’t! I can stop anytime. I think of my drug everyday. I wake with it on my mind and go to sleep dreaming of my next fix. I’ve become an expert at hiding my stash. Even the drug-sniffing dogs would be fooled. No one can tell when I take a hit. It’s become such a daily need I don’t even remember what I was like before it took hold of my life. I guess it’s a small price to pay for relief. It comes in all shapes and sizes, I’m not picky, I like them all. What ever I can get my hands on I’ll take. If it’s small I’ll take two or three. The larger ones are better, they tide me over longer but even they can’t always satiate my desire for long. More, more, more!!! It’s a disease, a sickness too embarrassing to discuss with anyone. My only hope is that no one else has to suffer like I do. It’s not fun anymore but it’s become such an integral part of my life I don’t see any other way. I pray every day I’m not found out. The pain in my family’s eyes would be too much to take. I’m sorry! I’ve tried to stop but I’m too weak….
FUCKING REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!!!!!

EAT THE FISH ~ IT’S GOOD FOR YOU!

As the black sheep of a politically adept family I never really put much thought into Washington and its happenings. Nor have I ever been a conspiracy theorist. That is until I came across this: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29877241. A day doesn’t go by without reading somewhere that eating fish and taking fish oil supplements is good for the body. OK! It just so happens that I’ve always been a fish lover. I’ve never been able to get enough of it actually. Or any other sea life for that matter. I adore it!!! Now I know why… Per The Associated Press on MSNBC. COM: “fish caught near wastewater treatment plants serving five major U.S. cities had residues of pharmaceuticals in them, including medicines used to treat high cholesterol, allergies, high blood pressure, bipolar disorder and depression.” HMMMMM!?!?! Could it be that Uncle Sam and the pharmacy companies really are scratching each other’s backs? Keeping your cholesterol down and lowering your blood pressure are two other topics in the news on a daily basis. Ok then, if we are supposed to eat the fish and it already has the high cholesterol and high blood pressure meds in it, why are so many people taking their heart healthy daily doses in pill form? Perhaps our numbers are better then we’re led to believe but if we really knew it would we be buying the drugs? Don’t forget about the incentives the doctors get for being pushers. As for the allergy meds found, well DUH!!! With so many people allergic to seafood how else do they make it safe for them to ingest? Put the allergy meds into the food and it’s a win-win for everyone! My favorite findings relate to the bipolar and anti-depressants found, I suppose that’s one way to keep down the hysteria regarding the economy! If we’re all hopping around with smiles on our faces then who cares how little the stimulus package really helps us. “The Associated Press has also reported trace concentrations of pharmaceuticals have been detected in drinking water provided to at least 46 million Americans.” Gives a whole new meaning to “drink eight, eight ounce glasses of water everyday? Doesn’t it? I’m just saying……

SOME ENCHANTED EVENING

On Friday, my husband and I had the rare opportunity to have a date night. These chances come vary far and few between so, we decided to enjoy a nice meal at a local restaurant that did not include the usual chicken fingers, pizza or video game motif. The boys had a school social to attend. They were excited because it was two whole hours to run amok with friends out of site of mom and dad’s line of vision. I was excited because it was two whole hours of free baby-sitting service, a commodity even more difficult to come by than the actual date night. I sent my husband to drop the children off at school thus allowing me a few extra minutes to doll up for our big night. At approximately 7:10 pm I heard the summoning honk in our driveway reminiscent of our wooing years. Out I bounded ready to go out on the town with my prince charming. Something I had looked forward to all day. Hell, I even showered and put on make-up for the big event! Knowing full well the two hours would pass quickly we chose a cozy local establishment that we were anxious to try. It boasted the exotic eats of India and entertainment on Friday evenings. Belly Dancing!!! Something we were both looking forward to, although for very different reasons. Upon arrival the exotic aromas of curry and the sound of sitar tunes welcomed our senses. We were quickly seated and brought our drinks. While we perused the menu, Bathsheba the belly dancer entertained us, along with the many other happy diners. When it was time to order I chose a sampler platter that would take a full 20 minutes to prepare because of its variety. No problem I replied, we’d start with an appetizer and enjoy each other’s company while indulging in some adult dialogue. Moments passed, we enjoyed the show and each other. Happily munching on the bread and dipping sauces, we eagerly awaited the appetizers. While the entertainment was happening we lost all sense of time. At 8:00pm, approximately 40 minutes after we had placed our orders, the show ended and we realized our appetizers had yet to arrive. OK, I thought, we still have a good 45 minutes until we must leave to get the kids. I’m sure it will be out soon. Looking around we noticed newly seated diners enjoying their exotic treats unlike us who had only each other’s company to feed our souls. Flagging down our waitress in wonder of our meals arrival we were assured that they would be right out. Ok, no problem except that we had finished the bread, licked clean the dipping sauce dishes and began to drool over our neighbor’s plates. At a quick glance at my watch I realized it was now almost one hour since we had placed our orders and still nothing. Back and forth walked waiters with the meals of those surrounding us yet our table remained vacant of sustenance. Yet again flagging down our waitress, I asked if there was any idea where our meals were. Is 20 minutes in India time different than American time? Did the chef actually journey to India for our food? Let me check she replied. In a rush she returned and explained that the order was entered into the system but the kitchen never received the orders. WHAT!?!? We only had 20 minutes until departure. We were fit to be tied! I explained that at this point we needed our meals to go because we had to leave post haste. Can you at least accomplish that in a timely manner? “Of course, I’m very sorry.” By now we were both agitated from hunger. So much for our grown up meal. At least we didn’t have to hear the kids whine about how hungry they were, and when was the food getting here? “ So when will we get to eat?” my hubby asked. “ After we put the kids to bed we’ll eat.” “ I can’t wait that long.” Me either but, what else do you suggest?” “ I don’t know, let me get the car while you pay for dinner. We’ll figure something out.” The food finally arrived packaged to go with a brief apology. At least we saved on the tip since technically we didn’t eat at the table. Hopping into the car I suggested that we save the meal for dinner the next night, after the kids go to bed. We could eat it while we watch a movie, cozy on the couch. Ahhhh, the comforts of our usual date night. As for dinner tonight, let’s stop at Wendy’s on the way. OK, HHMMMMM, I think I’ll have the chicken fingers!

ISN’T IT ROMANTIC??

DANCING FOR MYSELF!

I’ve never been one of those “I am woman hear me roar” ladies. Everyone should be equal; boy, girl, animal, mineral, we’re all living creatures that bleed the same color blood, feeling the same hurt and pride. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not burning my bra or tossing my spanx just yet but I don’t look at the two sexes as separate entities. Women are women and men are men, together we are human. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it, at least until my next belly dancing class. Never to be the conventional one, I started taking belly dance class as a fun alternative to the basic exercise grind. Little did I know that I would be awakening a whole new powerful being within myself! For the first time within my life I can say I feel like a truly sensual woman. My powerful, Goddess from within radiates from every shimmy, shake and snake-arm. Pure Beauty!!! Many believe that belly dancing is intended as a sexual presentation of the body. It’s not. The dance form is intended to be pure feminine expression of power and beauty. Of course, I’d be lying if I told you it doesn’t get my husband’s blood pumping. Then again, simply walking across the room has the same effect on him, but I digress. I encourage every one of all shapes and sizes and abilities to seek out their own class. If you don’t think it’s for you check out the following website: http://www.wickedlocal.com/kingston/fun/entertainment/x1434775297/Dancing-for-themselves.
Click on the YouTube link and see for yourselves. Can you guess which one I am? Hint…Grace is not my middle name. I’m certainly not very good! I don’t care! I dance for myself! I dance like no one is watching! I dance from the heart! You can Too!!!

~ NAMASTE ~

SHOPPING CART ETIQUETTE

How difficult is it to put your shopping cart back into the cart return when you’re finished shopping? What’s more frustrating than finding the perfect parking spot only to find in mid-turn a rogue cart. URGH!!! What’s up with leaving your cart in the parking spot you are leaving? Don’t you know that as soon as you leave, the abandoned cart turns renegade, hunting you down, not caring what other vehicles are in its path? Haven’t you ever seen the lone run-a-way cart sailing across the parking lot? I guarantee it’s not the wind blowing it along. So much for that shiny new paint job! Don’t even get me started on the people who park their empty carts NEXT to the cart return. Are you kidding me? Four more inches and you’ve hit your mark. I’m hoping you’re more accurate while you shove that fork into your mouth. I suppose not stabbing yourself in the eye takes precedence over shopping cart etiquette.
You know who I’m talking to…you indolent pushers! Store owners put the cart returns in parking lots for a reason. Looking pretty and wasting a good parking spot isn’t why. It’s only common courtesy to put your carts away when you are done. It’s quite simple really. Follow me…empty cart contents into your vehicle. Extend arms, grip cart handle, and gently push while carefully steering shopping cart to cart return home base. Should said cart return be full of shopping carts, mindfully insert said cart into existing carts back side. Release handle, walk away. Now, how hard was that?

There are only three legitimate reasons for not putting your cart away:

1. The extremely elderly, as they were lucky enough to find their car the first time around. Let’s not push their luck and ask them to walk away and try to do it again.
2. Families with young children. Heaven forbid the kids reach over and lock mom or dad out of the car thus resulting in the ever embarrassing 911 calls for help in extracting said children from car.
3. Being caught in a down pour with the cart return more than 6 cars away. Unless of course you are carrying an emergency floatation device.

THAT’S IT!!! No other excuses. Heed this warning my friends…Think twice before you walk away from that displaced shopping cart! If the cart doesn’t haunt you, I will chase you down myself…. I know where you parked your car…. BWAAHAHAHA!!!

UM! Because it's Sunday...

Oy Vay!...Even the good Lord himself took a day off! It's like this, I just don't want to do a darn thing today. Got It? Good! Cause it ain't gonna happen. Some days it just flows and flows and flows. Some days..NOTHING! Oh, one more thing, I'm not going to feel guilty about it either. Why should I? No one else does. It is what it is! CRAP...there went the buzzer on the dryer. WHAT? You still didn't do your weekend homework? You want to eat dinner tonight too? RATS!!! It was good while it lasted. Maybe next Sunday. A girl can hope can't she?